I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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