White coat. Heels.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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