we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
