my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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