He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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