Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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