sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
