oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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