That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
