remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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