This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Still dying that you shit outside
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
