i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
