Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
