We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
