We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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