You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
