he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
