I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
