I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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