why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
