he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
