Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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