If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
