seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
