he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize