On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
