All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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