So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
