How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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