The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
