McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
