I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
