He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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