Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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