The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
