I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
