Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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