walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
