I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I AM VODKA MAN
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
