You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
