do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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