jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I understand Curling. That high.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
