I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
