My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
