Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
