Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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