I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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