There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
