You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
our cab driver is having phone sex.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
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