Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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