This girl is more easily done than said...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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